So much has changed in the world and yet so much remains
unchanged. The streets of Oakland are still capable of being depressingly
violent. The country is still filled with white people willing to kill from
hate. Or willing to trap busy delivery drivers inside their needlessly gated
communities. Or willing to force people of color to choose between their jobs
and their health or the health of their families. Or willing to let the poor and
the elderly get sick and die to save the economy. It is certainly easy to
understand the anxiety people feel who aren’t fortunate enough to be working
right now. Or people who are worried about their small businesses. It is a very
scary and uncertain time. It’s their willingness to act like assholes, arming
themselves, threatening reporters, calling people tyrants and Nazis who are
just trying to do their best in a crazy time, that I don’t understand. I believe
in protest. But it’s like those protesting pandemic safety rules skipped a
step, went straight to militant. I know these are two different topics: white
people killing and harassing African-American people who were just trying to go
about their lives, and white people overreacting to some pandemic inconveniences.
But I also think there’s a lot of overlap between these two populations: how
they love to pull out their guns and play soldier; how they love to play sheriff.
Only it’s no game when they are 100% motivated by hate. I don’t usually feel
that I personally need to apologize for these acts of white people. But these
days I just feel…sorry. - J. O’Brien